Monday, September 6, 2010

If Snookie Can Do It . . . . . .

I love reality TV. I get completely involved in people's lives, and generally they would be people I wouldn't care about. I worry about what is going to happen to the people in the shows. Remember I cried when Captain Phil died. I love them all: Jersey Shore, Jerseyliscious, Big Brother, Whale Wars, Amazing Wedding Cakes, Deadliest Catch, Ice Road Truckers, The Real Housewives of Orange County, New York, Atlanta, New Jersey, and now D.C.

I want to be a reality TV star. If Snookie can do it, so can I. Really? What does Snookie do that I couldn't? Laundry? Tanning? Drinking? Eating and eating and eating? I eat. I drink. I live in Arizona so I get a tan naturally. I am wondering, if my life is reality TV worthy!

I am an overweight crippled kid and there isn't a reality TV show about an overweight crippled kid. Let's examine my life and see, if my readers would watch my show:

I get up at 5:30 a.m., but I wake up at 2:30 a.m. and think in the dark. I am thinking no one would want to watch me think in the dark. 

I leave for work at 6:15 a.m. The drive to work is quiet and uneventful. Janet is not a morning person and she does not talk on the way to work at all. I am thinking no one would want to watch us drive silently to work.

I get to work before 7:00 a.m. and that is where I am all day teaching, and working, working, working, working. Hey, there aren't any reality shows about school teachers that might be an idea. There are some characters at my school that would make an interesting reality show I just don't happen to be one of them. 

I usually leave for work around 5:30 p.m. The ride home is slow and full of traffic. Janet is a big talker on the way home, but then it would be a reality show about her and not me.

When I get home I take the dogs for a walk. Now there are two characters for a reality show. They could both have there own shows. One would be called Sir Barksalot and the other would be called The Great Lizard Chase. 

The rest of the evening I do more work and watch reality TV. I am thinking no one would want to watch me watch TV.

I could have a reality show about all my crazy friends, but wait I don't have any friends. My sister, Caren, reminds me of that quite often and laughs about it. 

Caren and I have some interesting adventures in Montana, but it only happens for a couple of weeks during the summer. That would be a very short season. I could do a reality show about all the interesting place to see between Phoenix, Arizona and Bigfork, Montana, oh, wait Caren refuses to stop at any of the interesting places. That's not going to work. 

Okay, Snookie, you win. I eat. I drink. I sleep. But I don't do it with the Jersey accent, attitude, or flair that you do. Oh, dear! I guess I have to find another way to become rich and famous.

Paco's Perspective

Sir Barksalot? I do other things besides bark. I twirl and, and, and, and I bark. 

The Flip Side

I am over this. Can we PLEASE go outside? I saw that Big Daddy lizard lumbering across the driveway!


  1. Well, I think you and Caren should go sign up for The Amazing Race. 'Cause Caren's so darn competitive, I can just picture her dragging your chair through the snow with a bungee cord! And wouldn't that make some awesome reality TV?!

  2. What about me??!! Am I not counted among your friends?! There is nothing more riveting than you, Caren, and me shopping, now is there?!

    Who else responded when you texted to ask, "Who da ho?" AND, never tires of the humor in that?!

    Also, you have to start watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians and Kourtney & Khloe Take Miami. You're missing great reality television if you aren't watching.