Did you Hear That?

When one moves to a new home, it is sometimes difficult getting used to the new sounds. I had a friend that moved from the old neighborhood to Iowa in the middle of a cornfield. I suggested that it must be great to be able to sleep without all the "city" noises and she replied,"Are you kidding? I haven't slept in days! I miss the police helicopters flying overhead all night. It is way too quiet. Kind of like a scary movie right before the serial killer shows up." 

I have moved to a rural area. There are many more houses in our neighborhood, but it is considered rural farmland. All the lots are at least two acres and some much larger. At our other home horses were allowed, but only horses. Here in the town of Waddell, AZ one can raise anything they want except pigs. Rural land makes for rural noises. Cattle do low, as in the cattle are lowing. Lowing cows is not a horrible thing to live with because they do it at a specific time daily and it is not in the middle of the night.

Our home is very close to the White Tank Mountains and so we have some interesting wildlife that come down from the mountain in search of food. There is a pack of coyotes that that travel EVERY morning right by my bedroom window.  Like clockwork, they come yipping, yapping and howling by at 2:30 a.m.. At around 3:10 a.m. they catch their rabbit. The sound of a screaming rabbit is not pleasant at anytime, let alone at 3:10 a.m.. I know where the bunnies live and I would like to write them a little note that would say, "Dear Mr. and Mrs. Hoppity, I strongly suggest that you keep the family in the house until maybe 4:00 a. m. Enclosed please find a watch, perhaps this will help you survive a little longer."

The coyotes are annoying. The screaming rabbits are frightening. But the worst thing is the damn rooster that lives NEXT DOOR. One probably thinks that roosters only crow at dawn when the sun is rising. WRONG! The rooster next door crows from dusk to dawn and at ten to twenty minute intervals in between. One might think that the crowing of a rooster is a pleasant sound, you know, cock-a-doodle-do. WRONG! The rooster next door does not cock-a-doodle-do. It screeches as loud as possible, ERRR-A-ERR-A-ERR-A-ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! I really want to cock-a-doodle his dooooooo!

Needless to say, I haven't slept in some time. I am getting used to the coyotes. I still cringe at the screaming rabbits, but that rooster! The other day someone asked Janet if it was really quiet out here and she replied, "Oh, yea very quiet!" Apparently, she can sleep through anything. When asked if she hears any gunshots, she replied, "Not yet, I am thinking that Cathy might sneak out one night soon and shoot the neighbor's rooster!"

Paco's Perspective

What rooster?

The Flip Side

I can't think about roosters. Do you know how many lizards are in our yard?!

"You Know What"

WARNING: Adult Conversation

I just recently had a birthday and turned fifty-five. (I am not afraid to state my age because my parents were told that my life expectancy would be sixteen years, so every day past the age of sixteen is a celebration.) Every year around my birthday I take time to reflect and for some unknown reason I have been thinking about how my thoughts and expectations about "you know what" have drastically changed over my many years. I am definitely not an expert in "you know what". I have had "you know what". I don't like to discuss "you know what" and I definitely do not like "you know what" innuendos. I feel the people that constantly make "you know what" innuendos and continually discuss their prowess with "you know what" really aren't getting "you know what" and are probably bad at "you know what."

One might ask, "Cathy, if you are not an expert at "you know what" and you don't like to discuss "you know what", then why are you writing about "you know what"? My answer is incredibly stupid. The new house is in a more rural area than we lived before and Verizon does not work well in this area and I have Verizon internet. In order to get it to work, I have had to hold the receptor with my left hand in the air as I try to type with my right hand while not breathing. So a decision was to made to get high speed internet with Cox. Yesterday it was hooked up. It is wonderful! I was so excited that I actually left my part of the house (I am a hermit.) to express my joy about the new internet service. I shouted to whomever would listen, "I just want to say OMG about the new INT.  It is the greatest. It is better than anything I have  ever experienced. It is better than 'you know what'!" (Oh, no! I just made a "you know what" innuendo!) And then at around 3:30 am, I was thinking when did getting high speed internet become much more exciting than "you know what"? And that led to how my views and understandings about "you know what" have changed.

Here is the progression of my understandings and thoughts about "you know what" over many years:

 from

"You know what"? What's "you know what"?

 to

Ohhhhhh, that's "you know what"!

to

I wonder what it is like to experience "you know what".

to

I hope "you know what" is better than ice cream.

to

After reading many sleazy romance novels, if that is what "you know what" is really like, I want some.

to

Really, that's all there is to "you know what"? It is not better than ice cream.

to 

I hope "you know who" comes over more often for "you know what".

to

I love "you know what".

to

I hope when "you know who" comes over that he doesn't want to "you know what".

to

I am so glad that when "you know who" stops by once in a blue moon that he doesn't even mention "you know what".

to

That movie had way too much "you know what"!

back to

"You know what"? What's "you know what"?

Here is the worst part as one gets older there are so many more things that are more important and more exciting than "you know what". And as I get older my list of things that are more important and more exciting than "you know what" gets longer:

My List of Things That Are More Important and Much More Exciting Than "You Know What"

• pie
• sleeping through the night
• pie
• having an illustrious bm
• pie
• high speed internet
• pie
• watching a great tear jerker
• pie
• strategically placing cheater reader glasses throughout the house where they can be easily accessed at all times
• pie
• reading a good book
• pie a la mode

 

Paco's Perspective

• treats
• going for a walk
• treats
• dinner 
• treats
• twirling
• treats

 

The Flip Side

• dinner
• chasing lizards
• dinner
• chasing lizards
• dinner

Cracked Up

When one moves into a new house one must open the house to many workmen. There is the TV guy, gardeners, tile guy, bugman, security guy, phone guy, painter, heater repairman. Then there are the movers. I personally don't have family in town and you know I don't have any friends, so I didn't have anyone to help us move. Thank God for the Payne clan. We had brothers, brother-in-laws, sisters, sister-in-laws, nieces, nephews, sons, daughters, fathers, boyfriends, and girlfriends. All these people are climbing up and down ladders, bending over to lift boxes, crawling on the floor, etc., etc., etc. And with all the installers, repairmen, and movers comes many a buttcrack. I have seen more buttcracks in the past two weeks than I ever thought possible. 

Through my totally unintentional observations, I have found that there are many categories of buttcracks.There is the peeker. The barely visible crack that just peeks over the edge of the the belt loops. This is the shy buttcrack. Then there is the Grand Canyon. The crack wide enough to go river rafting.  Next, is the talker. As the workman moves up and down the ladder, it is as if there are lips moving. If only I was a ventriloquist. Next, there is the squeezer. This crack is so tight that the workman could carry his tools there. Finally, the never ending crack. That is when the young gardeners pants are sagging so much that when he bends over to pull some weeds one wonders, if it will ever end. Through my totally unintentional observations, I have learn that visible buttcracks are not gender specific. Yep, the cable girl has one too!

I am sure the next words out of your mouth would be, "Well, Cathy, why are you looking at everyone's buttcracks?" My answer would be it's all unintentional. I am a crippled kid and buttcracks happen to be directly at my eye level. Buttcracks and belt buckles, buttcracks and belt buckles, I won't even start on the belt buckles!

Paco's Perspective

Hey, what kind do I have? Let me twirl, so you can see. Do you see it? Do you see It? Do you see?

The Flip Side

I don't know what you are talking about. Do you know how many new bushes there are around here that I must pee on? And the lizards are everywhere!!!

Fate?

Fate is the universal principle or ultimate agency by which the order of things is presumably prescribed. What? Things just happen.  You know: "It was fate that we just happened to be in the right place at the right time." or, "Fate brought us together." I have had many fateful experiences.

When I was thinking about changing schools back in 1998 I applied for a new school in the district. I was appalled when I was turned down. How dare someone not want me on their staff. But two great things happened because of that refusal. First, I decided I needed to change my teaching practices and I started to educate myself. I read everything there was to read about teaching literacy. Still to this day, I consider myself well educated in up-to-date literacy practices. Second, in the summer of 1998 I had my car accident that left me in casts up to my hips. If I had moved schools, I wouldn't have had the support system that I had by staying at Peralta. The staff at Peralta signed up to drive to and from work. My drivers would leave work early on their days to get me home right after the students left so I could go home and rest up for the next day. Fate?

When I did finally change schools, I went to Tomahawk where I participated in a Teacher Advancement Program. I learned so much about best practices in teaching. I am a better teacher because of that program. I know many hated participating in that program because it was so much work, but I believe that Tomahawk is so far ahead of others schools with the new reform because the staff was already skilled in the PLC (Professional Learning Communities) expectations due to the Teacher Advancement Program. Fate?

When I moved to Tomahawk I met Colleen Meyer. She became one of my best friends and my best teacher. I learned so much from Colleen. We made the decision to team teach together. We tried some wonderfully innovative teaching practices. Together we were unstoppable! When she moved out of state I thought I would be lost, but I was led to the position I have now. If Colleen had stayed around, I wouldn't have become an Achievement Specialist. Fate?

Fate led me to Tomahawk to reconnect with Janet. I had gone to school with her brother and she had gone to school with Caren. When I was in need of a caretaker Janet invited me to live with her family. Since that day, my family has been able to breathe a sigh of relief. It is difficult to care for a disabled family member from far away. Janet has committed herself to caring for me for the rest of my life. Whenever she is asked why she chose to make such a commitment she just quietly responds, "You wouldn't understand, it's a God Thing." I am so lucky. I no longer have to worry or wonder what will happen to me and my family no longer has to worry. Fate?

Fate has caused Janet's family and myself to make a move to a different home. It has been a difficult, worrisome, stressful five months. There have been times when I was sure my chest and head were going to explode, but I survived. I can't wait to start our new adventure in our new home. It is going to take some time and work to fix it up. But I already consider it home because home is where your heart is. Fate?

I wonder where fate will lead me next. Actually, I don't believe in fate. I believe in God! I believe God leads one where one needs to be. God kept me at Peralta when I needed the support. God led me to Tomahawk to move me toward a career move. God led me to the Payne family. God has led us to this new home where new adventures will begin. I always worry about the next steps I will take and I know it is silly to worry because I am not in charge. No matter what, I will be walking with God, and I will be okay. 

So the next time you use the word fate, remember it's not fate. It is a much higher power than fate. It's a God Thing!

Paco's Perspective

So you are telling me that God sent Flip to us? Where is this God guy? We need to chat!

The Flip Side

I heard there are rabbits and bigger lizards at the new house. Thank you, God!