I live outside of the city in an acreage community where one can own any kind of animal except pigs. Most homes are on two acres, so it’s like a little ranch community. When we have visitors the first thing that is said is, “Wow! It’s so quiet out here!”
My reply, “Mmmmmmmmm, not really. It’s a cacophony out here. Did you know that the mockingbird sings until it finds its mate? It doesn’t stop singing when it gets dark either. It sings all night long!”
One might ask, “What’s wrong with birds singing? I love to hear birds singing.”
“ A mockingbird lives up to its name. It imitates other birds’ songs and the most distinctive part of the song. Just what I’ve always wanted the bird version of Jimmy Fallon outside my window at two o’clock in the morning. Then there are the coyotes. When you think of coyotes I bet you picture a coyote howling at the moon. Coyotes don’t howl. They also don’t bark. They yip and whine. When they catch their prey they yip and whine even louder. Have you ever heard a bunny scream?”
“By the way did I tell you about the neighbor’s cow. She moos all the time. She moos when she is lonely, she moos when she is hungry and she moos when she escapes and ends up right near my bedroom window. The last time the neighbor came to fetch his cow I heard him say to her, ‘Brandy, if you break out one more time, you’re going to end up on the dinner table.’ Brandy must have escaped again because I haven’t heard her mooing in a long time.”
“When the coyotes have gone to their den, the cow has settled done, the dogs have stopped barking, the mockingbird has become hoarse, the roosters start to crow”
One might think, “Hey, roosters only crow when the sun comes up.”
“One has thought wrong. Roosters crow when someone turns on a light. Roosters crow at a full moon. Roosters crow when the sun goes down, roosters crow when the sun comes up, and they start crowing two hours before the sun comes up.”
“When the rooster starts crowing about 3:30 a.m. that wakes up the peacock. The peacock is the finale of the crescendo outside my window. Then the screams of the peacock wakes up the mockingbird and the cacophony starts again.”
Don’t take this wrong, readers, I love my cacophony! I am an old lady. I don’t need much sleep. Besides, I could never move back to the “city” it’s way too noisy!
You said caca! You said caca! You said caca!
The Flip Side
Hey, Knucklehead, she didn't say caca! She said caca funny, like, you stepped in my caca! Funny!