Monday, November 9, 2009

Where Have All the Heroes Gone?

I have looked the word friend up in the dictionary to find all the forms of the word. There is: friend, friendly, friendlier, friendliest, and unfriendly. Friend is a noun and an adjective but unlike love it is not a verb. You cannot friend someone, therefore, you cannot defriend someone.

There is a reason that friend is not a verb because once one becomes a friend there is no turning back. A spouse can be divorced, but a friend cannot be unfriended. Remember that friend in high school? The one that stole your only true love? That you were sure you hated? Some years later you run into them at the mall, you have a "friendly" conversation, and later the person with you asks, "Who was that?" You reply, "Just an old friend."

You DON'T reply, "Her? Oh, we were once best friends, but she stole my one true love, and I have hated her ever since. I defriended her back in high school!"

I have a friend, Colleen, that I team taught with for many years. I have always said that one needs to choose a team teacher as carefully as they choose a husband or even more carefully, as carefully as they choose a friend. Colleen and I worked well together because we were and still are such good friends. Don't get me wrong we had some doozies of fights. We fought over students, philosophies, and much more. The arguments were usually resolved, and the ones that weren't we overlooked and went on. A few years ago, Colleen moved to Arkansas. When someone would ask if I was planning on team teaching with someone else, I would look at them like they just asked a recent divorcee if she were going to remarry and say emphatically, "No!"

The only intelligent thing I have heard Dr. Phil say is "There needs to be a hero in every relationship." I think Colleen was the hero in our relationship. She overlooked a lot of offenses. If you talked to Colleen, she might say that I had my hero moments. I try to be the hero in my relationships. I am usually the first to apologize or quick shut up.

I recently insulted a dear friend (No, not Cathy-open-mouth-insert-foot-Cunningham). In the process of trying to apologize, I insulted them again (No, not Cathy-open-mouth-insert-other-foot-Cunningham). I have officially been defriended. It wasn't one of those things where someone doesn't call as often, or you just kind of stop doing things together, or their posts on Facebook mysteriously disappear, nope, I was told that this person is no longer comfortable calling me friend. That was it! So long! Adios! Bye-bye! Which is bad for me for many reasons, one being I don't have that many friends.

I am not writing this to try to apologize, poorly, one more time. The friend I insulted isn't a follower. I just want to remind people to "be the hero"! Don't forget to remind someone how much you love them or how important they are to you. Don't forget to bring flowers home everyone once in a while for no reason. Know when to shut up. Say thank you. Be the first to say I am sorry. Remember to forgive and forget.

Paco's Perspective

Hmmmmm, and you wonder why I don't like you.

The Flip Side

I like the treats. I like my bed. I like that lady that rolls on the floor with me.I am starting to like that bossy dog with the accent. I didn't like the shots, and you ran over my foot today. We can't be friends, yet.

1 comment:

  1. Craig is my best friend these days. I don't know why it can be so SO hard to apologize, but it is. We take turns being the hero. I suppose I disagree with the Doc about that, and I usually spout his truisms all the time.

    Relationships of any kind get messy. Anyway, I know it sounds lame, but I hope yours gets resolved :)