Pass the Kleenex, Pahleeeeeeeeeeeze

I am a sap for holidays. I relish the gathering of families, and I even kind of like the family spats. I love finding the perfect, thought-out, quirky gift. I spend hours on the internet "in search of". But the thing I love the best about the holidays is the Hallmark and Lifetime movies. I record them all, watch them early in the morning and bawl my guts out. Really, it is the same movie over and over and over with different characters and settings. Of course, there is always that fairytale-girl-gets-prince-and-they-lived-happily-ever-after ending. When I watch a movie at 2:34 a.m. I don't want to have to think too much because I usually fade in and out throughout the movie. It doesn't matter that the movies all have the same ending I still cry. As a matter of fact, if I have seen the movie before I start crying before the sad/then happy ending because I know what is coming up.

There are two overall themes that weave through the different characters and settings:

"Giving in its purest form expects nothing in return." Lifetime Movie
Even though I relish in finding the perfect gift, I enjoy more finding the perfect thing to say. Speaking the perfect words isn't about money it is about love, and expressing words of love are the hardest to express. The most difficult part of giving of yourself is expecting absolutely nothing in return. This is a difficult concept for me because I want reciprocation. I don't want reciprocation in the form of gifts because that is just one more thing to get dusty, but I do want words of love and thanks. I consider myself despicable because of it.

"Joy is based on where you decide to put your heart." Hallmark Movie
I want everyone to have that fairytale-girl-gets-prince-and-they-live-happily-ever-after ending. I want everyone to have that perfect job. I want everyone to live where they have always wanted to live. In order to be truly joyous you have to put your heart into everything you do and say. People don't like their jobs, where they live, or who they are with because they haven't decided to put their heart into it. Happiness is where your heart resides.

I have spent the past five months working on buying a house. So, this year I am not able to buy the perfect gifts. I guess I am going to have to work on those perfect words which frightens me. The expecting no words in return is going to take a lot of work. Maybe I will give everyone copies of all those movies, a box of Kleenexes, and let them figure things out on their own.

Paco's Perspective

Is this your way of telling me I am not getting a new toy for Christmas?

The Flip Side

Oh, Mr. Lizard, come a little closer I have something I have to tell you?