The other evening I had dinner with Caren and a dear friend, Jo May. Jo and I have know each other for years. We have grown in different directions and unfortunately don't see each other as often as I wish. I blame the fact that I no longer drive for many of my lost relationships. I was the one that always went to people, and now I am very GU(geographically undesirable). I miss those friends that I no longer see because I no longer drive. Our conversation at dinner made me miss those friends more.
We stayed long after the bill came to chat. We were having so much fun that I am sure everyone in the restaurant wished they were sitting at our table or maybe they were wishing we would just shut up and leave. Some people don't like to be reminded of what a boring time they are having. We laughed so hard tears were dripping off our cheeks.
Jo May and I have always wanted to be authors. During our many hours of traveling we would outline our ideas for books: Codependency the Lighter Side, Jack Handy is My Hero and Why? just to name a few. Jo just recently found my blog. She asked how often I write, so she could keep up. I told her I try to do it once a week, but I am starting to run out of things to write about.
Me: "I was kind of hoping Caren would do something stupid during her visit, so I would get some new ideas."
Caren: "I am sure you have other friends or relatives that do stupid things."
Jo and Me (after looking at each other): "No, not really."
Jo: "Remember the time I rode with the Wild Women of the West and I was riding near South Mountain practicing my hat trick for a parade. I fell off my horse and she bolted away and I was chasing her down Central Avenue in my parade regalia and the darn horse kept blowing the lights."
Caren: "Remember when we were at Rhonda's and Dalton and I were riding his wagon down the hill on the side of her house. We hit a bump and we almost flew over the fence into the neighbor's yard."
Jo: "I noticed you haven't written much about the Peggy and Cathy exploits."
Me: "Like when we got stuck in the revolving door in Pittsburgh."
Jo: "Or when you two did a song and dance in the district-wide talent show fund raiser."
Caren: "Cathy can't sing."
Jo: "I know, that's my point."
Me: "I dance so much better than I sing."
Caren: "You can't dance."
Me: "I know, I know, that's my point."
Caren: "Speaking of dancing, what about all those names and life stories you gave to the regulars at The Toolies bar where we used to hang out."
Jo: "Ahhhh, the good ole' days of real Wrangler butts."
Me: "Dick and Honey. Princess and Cord. Ken and Barbie."
Jo: "Eighth-grade Sweater."
Me: "Gumby and Pokey."
Caren: "Hey, did you know that Pokey IS in the pokey? What about One-Eyed Jack or Stinky Barry?"
Me: "Wait, I need to write these ideas down before I forget."
Jo: "Girl, you haven't even scratched the surface! And if all else fails, just spend more time with Caren."
After a couple hours of guffawing and crying, we made our way to the parking lot where we laughed some more.
Ahem, you do have another family member that does many more stupid things than Auntie Caren. Think about it the name might flip into your mind.
The Flip Side
Have you seen how the "stocky one" always gets faked-out by my fancy footwork?