The Snack Nazi

I loved spending time with my Aunt Co. She had a sharp wit. She was always laughing. Oh, Aunt Co wasn't perfect, she could be snarky, but she always made me laugh. The best part about spending time with Aunt Co was she insisted we plan our day around when and where we were going to eat. My Aunt lost her battle to cancer a few years ago, but when I think of her I always smile.

She came to mind today because my youngest sister, Caren, is in town, and I am going to a conference with her this weekend. My Aunt Co called Caren the Snack Nazi. Caren doesn't let us eat. She does not plan her day around food. Don't travel long distances with her unless you plan on smuggling snacks and you're comfortable wearing a diaper. When Caren is driving her destination is her goal, and she let's nothing get in her way.

One day last spring I got a call from my oldest sister, Chris, Caren, and "our sistah from anothah mothah", Rhonda. They were traveling together in Texas. Our conversation went like this:

"Caaaaathyyyyy, Caren won't let us stop to eat!" whined Chris and Rhonda.

I calmly said, "Caren, let Chris and Rhonda stop for lunch."

"We don't need to eat! We are almost home, and we are going to have dinner at the house," demanded Caren.

"But it's noon. We are not eating until seven. Can't we stop for lunch," begged Rhonda and Chris.

"NO!" shouted Caren

"Is Caren driving?" I asked.

"No," they replied with some confusion.

I rolled my eyes and hollered in the phone, "Chris, Rhonda, I am thinking you can take her! She isn't driving, she's little, and she's is probably weak from not eating!"

So, this weekend is my weekend with the Snack Nazi. I know my Aunt Co is up above looking down and laughing. If she was here, I know what she would say. As we were heading out the door, she would turn to me and whisper out of the side of her mouth, "You smuggle the Cheez Whiz in your bra, and I'll hide the crackers in my jacket."

Paco's Perspective

I never got to meet Aunt Co, but I know I would like her. She liked food . . I like food. She liked cheese . . . .I like cheese. She loved you . . . .uh, uh, never mind.