He's THAT GUY!

It's spring and my friend, the mockingbird, is back. Mockingbirds sing until they find a mate. The singing doesn't just happen during the day. It happens all day and ALL NIGHT! There are times when I would like to strangle my mockingbird friend, especially at 3 AM.

Unfortunately, the mockingbird that sings outside my bedroom is never going to find a mate no matter how long and loud he sings because he's THAT GUY, you know . . .

The one that lives in his mother's basement with a beer in one hand, the remote in the other and a pizza box on his lap taking sips of beer and flicking the channels between bites of cold pizza.

The one that thinks he knows everything and proceeds to mansplains how a faucet works to a female plumber and when she gets annoyed he asks if she is PMSing.

The one with a nondescript job, not bad looking but something's creepy about him and you can't put your finger on it but he reminds you of THAT stalker GUY in You.

The one that takes hours to get ready to go shopping for more skinny jeans  and while he is walking in the mall he is looking at his reflection in EVERY window making duck-lip faces and primping.

The one that comes to the bar in a sweater and pants he wore in seventh grade asking all the girls to dance and asking all the guys to buy him a beer.

The one that believes everything he reads on the internet and warns people not to do something because he read on the internet that someone died doing that leaving out all the facts from his warning.

The one that brags about how much money he has and one day you stop into a McDonald's and there's THAT GUY bussing tables and taking out the trash.

My poor friend, Mr. Mockingbird, is going to be doing bad bird imitations outside my window until it's time to fly south for the winter because he's THAT GUY!

The Flip Side

I hate to be THAT GUY but isn't Arizona "south for the winter'.

Osa's Opinion

Yep, you're THAT GUY!

Kuma Kibbitz

I'm new to this but I'll catch on. I'm a quick learner.