Singing for a Girl That’s Never Coming to the Dance

Recently someone in my neighborhood has acquired a peacock. Peacocks are beautiful birds when they strut their stuff but they also can be a pain in the arse (as a kilted Scot would say).

The peacock is the national bird of India. The peafowl is prominent in the mythology and folklore of the Indian people. The Hindus consider the bird to be sacred because the god, Kartikeya, rides on its back. Also legends hold that the peafowl can charm snakes and make their eggs become rotten.

Apparently, there are benefits to owning peafowl. I read in a blog (yes, people actually blog about peafowl), “a good peafowl can have all the loyalty of a dog, all the self-reliance of a cat, and all the ease of maintenance of a goldfish--though when a full-grown peafowl dies, it can be a lot harder to flush down the toilet.” Peafowl also eat lizards, roaches, spiders, snakes and scorpions. They are also very territorial and will let one know when someone or something nearing one’s yard.

The main disadvantage of peafowl, besides they are birds and they poop, is they are noisy. Peafowl supposedly have seven distinct calls including a distress call, a get out of my yard call, a look how cool I am call and a hey, chicky baby, come this way call. During mating season peacocks call to their mates in the early morning and when the sun goes down.

The peacock that has been hanging around my house starts calling for his lady around 3:15 a.m. I know it’s 3:15 because I have been waking up to his “hey, chicky baby, come this way” call for about a week. Unfortunately for Mr. Peacock, most people own peacocks and not peahens. One because they don’t want little peacocks, and also because peahens aren’t as beautiful as the peacock. So every day Mr. Peacock starts singing for a girl that’s never coming to the dance. Believe me it doesn’t sound like singing. The mating call of a peacock sounds like an off-key cat caught by a rocking chair. I can’t imagine what the “get out of my yard” call sounds like, if the mating call is suppose to be the most attractive call.

Peafowl have a tendency to wander, if one doesn’t acclimate them to their home before letting them out. No offense to Mr. Peacock and the people of India but I hope he wanders back to India. If he wants, I’ll by him a ticket to his homeland.

Paco’s Perspective

Singing for the girl that’s never coming to the dance. That’s a great title for a country western song. I can hear Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood singing the chorus”

As he steps on the stage, he prays

She’ll give one more chance

But he’s singing for a girl that’s never

Coming to the dance

The Flip Side

Peacocks eat lizards? No wonder, there aren’t as many lizards to chase. I’ll pitch in for Mr. Peacock's trip home.