While in Montana, one of our favorite things to do
is read the Police Blotter from the local paper The Flathead Beacon. The Police
Blotter has crime briefs from the Kalispell Police and Flathead County
Sheriff’s Department. Visitors can’t wait until the new Beacon arrives. We
congregate in the kitchen, have drinks, make dinner, read the Police Blotter
and laugh until we cry or pee our pants whichever comes first.
I was cleaning out the backpack on my wheelchair
the other day and found a piece of newspaper crammed in the bottom of the bag.
When I opened the newspaper I found it was the June 11th Police
Blotter. Yea!
Usually I collect many of the Blotters and share
the best entries but I only have one Blotter but it has some funny stuff in it.
Monday 6/2
Someone called from a local park to report that a
man there was lying in the grass in an awkward position. An officer found the
man comfortably napping in the sun.
One Kalispell resident reported that the neighbor’s
dog was loose forcing others in the neighborhood to arm themselves with
shovels.
A Hungry Horse resident complained that four
12-year-olds were running loose behind his house and screaming.
Someone staying in a camper parked on Flathead
Drive reported that someone had been outside shaking it. A deputy found that a
deer had run into it and left a dent.
Tuesday 6/3
A woman on Shelter Ridge called in to report that
the local bunnies have eaten all her flowers.
A Conrad resident reported that earlier that morning
he watched a kid shove a wad of weeds into his mailbox.
A Kalispell resident said that his neighbor
threatened to shoot him after he threatened to shoot the man’s dog if it
trampled his flowerbed again.
Wednesday 6/4
An Evergreen resident with a habitually loose dog
claimed that he would rather pay fines than keep his dog out of the road.
A Hungry Horse woman reported that her neighbor
jumped off his bike and “charged” her. Apparently, he thought she was trying to
steal his dog. She claimed that she found his dog and wanted to return it.
A Bigfork woman saw a vehicle in her field and
suspected the trespassers were a bunch of “elderly liberal women”.
Thursday 6/5
Someone reported that a seemingly intoxicated man
was perched on the side of Central Street playing with silverware. The man told
an officer that he was on medication, but just felt generally “happy”.
A resident on Eighth Avenue West complained that
his neighbor was outside practicing his elk bugle again.
A local woman reported that she received, as a
gift, a human skull from a man with dementia.
A Bigfork woman reported that her adult son, who
lives in a tent out back, threw a dinner plate.
A man on Highway 35 in Bigfork had a neighbor call
9-1-1 for him to report that his soon-to-be-ex-roommate stole a hat from
another neighbor. The victim neighbor later told a deputy that she found her
hat on her hat rack.
As I was nostalgically tossing the crumpled Police
Blotter from the Flathead Beacon in the trash, I notice they had a website: FLATHEADBEACON.COM.
I decided to take a look and what do I see? The Police Blotter and the first
entry I read: A complaint was made about the notorious “taco dog” on Klondyke
Loop in Somers. Now I don’t have to wait until summer to giggle. But it’s still
more fun in that tiny crowded kitchen making dinner and laughing with friends.
Paco’s Perspective
Hey, I thought I was the notorious :taco dog”!
The Flip Side
I would like to report that the bunnies won’t stay
out of our yard, and I get tired of chasing them. A guy can’t get a nap around
here with all the bunnies, lizards and hawks.
