Saturday, July 26, 2014

My Best Friend is Obsessive-Compulsive

How does one tell their best friend that he needs counseling?  I guess one just needs to come out with it.  So, here it is, Paco, my loyal man’s best friend, you need to find a good doggie psychiatrist. 
Paco has always been known as a toe-licking-panty-sucking-wine-drinking dog. Paco loves toes, panties, and especially wine. When one is around Paco one must keep their shoes on, drawers shut, and wine glasses up high and out of reach.
Toe-licking, panty-sucking, and wine-drinking are not Paco’s only idiocies, unfortunately. Paco is a twirler. Most little dogs twirl but Paco is an obsessive-compulsive twirler. He can’t be walked on a leash because he twirls so much that he will get strangled by his own leash. When we go for a walk he runs circles around my wheelchair.  Caren doesn’t like to take Paco for hikes because she says he “wimps out” and quits walking and has to be carried. Poor guy he quits because he has walked three times farther than anyone else due to his twirling. One day I watched Paco attempt to go out the doggie door, he had to twirl three times and then twirl and touch the doggie door with his nose three times and then jump through the door and if I interrupt him in between the process, he has to start all over. If one opens the door for him to go out or in, he has to twirl three times before entering or exiting. Paco is also obsessed with licking the grout in my house. The entire house is tiled and one can observe Paco methodically following the grout lines and licking the grout throughout the house. This is the only thing he does without twirling. He looks like Pac-Man. He is a Pac-Chicka-Chicka-Wow-Wow!
So now Paco is known as an obsessive-compulsive toe-licking-panty-sucking-wine-drinking-three-times-twirling-Pac-Man-grout-licking dog. He has many more obsessions that are too embarrassing to discuss (like humping), but with all his craziness Paco is still one of my best buddies. I am never lonely because Paco is always there. He doesn’t care about my idiocies. When he comes into the house he always has to find wherever I am to check on me. He licks away my tears. And he is always good for a great laugh. I will keep my shoes on, my panty drawer shut tight and my wine glass set up high while I watch my dear sweet companion lick the grout and run circles around me.

Paco’s Pesrspective
I twirl?

The Flip Side
I notice you didn’t mention Sir Barks Alot’s obsessive barking problem. A guy can’t get a nap with him around.

No comments:

Post a Comment