Monday, June 6, 2011

Picking Perfectly in Heels

American Pickers is another reality show that I happen to watch. It is about two guys that have an antique resell shop, and they travel the northeast climbing through old garages and barns "picking" through piles of junk to find just the right piece of junk that will make a huge profit. Recently, the "leetle sistah", Caren, texted me about the show:

Leetle Sistah: Have you seen the show American Pickers?

Me: Yes, it is one of Janet's favorites.

Leetle Sistah: I decided when Darrell retires that is what we are going to do.
(Yes, we text all the punctuation and spell everything correctly. We are teachers!)

At that point I rolled my eyes and giggled. Let me expound on my thoughts, Caren is beautiful and at all times perfect. Her hair is perfect. Her nails are perfect. Her shoes are perfect. And her clothes are perfect. I think that the CEO of the White House/Black Market shop (all the clothes in this shop are black and white) personally calls Caren and prewarns her about the sales. It is a little inside joke when Caren asks me, "What should I wear?" I usually answer, "How but something black or white?" Caren is ALWAYS dressed ...PERFECTLY! She even looked cute when she was recently here helping to dig ditches. I swear she had a cute ditch digging outfit. Also, Caren's perfect black and white clothes never get dirty. I think they are magic. Caren can wear white to a mud wrestling competition and sit in the front row and never get a spot on her . . . . . .magic!

Not only does Caren look perfect but she does everything perfectly. She runs. She hikes. She golfs. She cooks. She cleans. She mows. She chops wood. She bucks hay. All the while she is participating in the afore mentioned activities, she will look perfect in some cute little (emphasis on little) black and white outfit.

Now Caren's perfections could make one want to hate her, but it is impossible because not only is she perfect on the outside but she is perfect on the inside. Caren has a perfect heart! Caren is kind. Caren is friendly. Caren is helpful. Caren is giving. She will give one the black and white shirt right off her back. Caren loves EVERYBODY and EVERYBODY loves Caren. When we stop at the store, and she says she is just going to run inside and get something and she will be back in a minute I know to get out my phone and start playing Scrabble to kill time because it will be longer than a minute. Caren has to talk to everybody in the store and she does not surface chat. She will become every single person's best friend from the little old lady squeezing melons in the produce section to the bum outside begging for change. Not only will she have made friends with everyone, but she will have all their phone numbers and they hers. And they will call. And she will listen. And they will become BFFs.

So I digress, back to the "picking" thing. When "Leetle Sistah", Caren, texted with her decision to become a picker I giggle because I visualized Caren "picking" in heels. A pair of perfect black and white strappy, very fashionable, very seasonable heels would be on her feet. When I told Janet about Caren's idea to become a picker, she laughed and said, "Tell her black clothing and dust don't mix."

Me: Janet says a picker gets very dusty. Black, white and dust don't mix.

Leetle Sistah: I don't get that. Are you referring to my clothes? I would have picking clothes like Mike and Frank on the show.

Me: What does the fashionable picker wear? No open-toed shoes or heels.

Leetle Sistah: Overalls and boots.

Me: Mid-calf or thigh high?

Leetle Sistah: Thigh high, of course, that is what is in fashion, and not just your ordinary overalls.

If you happen to be driving the back roads of Montana out near Moesha and you see a cute little thang in clean white overalls with black accents and thigh high boots come crawling out a pile of junk, do two things for me: one, notice that their is not a speck of dust or dirt on her magical white overalls and her hair and make-up . . . PERFECT, and, two, give Leetle Sistah a shout out from C. Store. Oh, also, grab your mobile you're going to want to get your new best friend's number.

Paco's Perspective

Auntie Caren is the best. She shares her wine with me and she give me licks from her ice cream cone.

The Flip Side

Auntie Caren belongs to Osa and I love Osa. Auntie Caren takes us on long hikes and we chase those itty bitty cats with the big bushy tails.


  1. That paragraph describing Caren was one of the nicest sister descriptions ever :)

  2. Cathy, you describe Caren nearly perfectly. I say "nearly", because you left out the bling on her black & white clothing and B&W "picking" outfit. Must have, too. I laughed out loud and, yes, nearly peed my pants! I would have shouted, "Stop! You're making me pee my pants!", but no one would have heard....