Saturday, November 20, 2010

I'd Rather Be Poked in the Eye With a Sharp Stick Than . . . . . . .

Go to Wal-Mart
I know, I know everybody loves Wal-Mart! NOT ME!  I always have to dodge stuff in aisles of Wal-Mart. I have had to work my way around dirty diapers, pickles, sticky candy covered children, and very smelly people. 
I think Wal-Mart is the drop off station for alien abduction rejects. In Kallispell, Montana a new Wal-Mart was built across from the Cost Co. Now Kallispell is a small town and there was already one Wal-Mart in town, I couldn't believe that the town would actually need two. But, if you build it, they will come. Everytime we drove by the ENTIRE parking lot was completely full. There are not that many people in the whole state of Montana let alone Kallispell, Montana. The amount of people at that Wal-Mart everyday supports my alien-abduction-rejects-drop-off-center theory. That's why the people in Wal-Mart always look lost. They are wandering around thinking, "How did I get here?"

Eat with skinny girls
There are two kinds of skinny girl eaters: 1) The kind that eat nothing and inform their fellow eaters how many calories are in everything that they put in their mouth, or 2) The kind that eat everything and never gain an ounce. I hate them both. I am not one that goes out much, but when I do I am there for only one thing and that's the food. I don't want to hear,
"Do you know how many calories are in that salad dressing? You might as well put that fried food you are eating directly in your arteries! I'll have the broccoli salad with no dressing and absolutely no bacon. Oh, and there better not be any cheese on the plate. Yes, just put three pieces of broccoli on a plate with some raw carrots on the side. You're not really thinking about ordering dessert?"


But then there is the skinny girl that eats everything. She pulls up to the table in her size 0 skinny jeans and the conversation goes like this,
"Oooooooo, let's start with an appetizer. Maybe we can get the sampler plate. I'll have one of those and one of those and one of those, and don't forget to bring the dessert tray by before you bring the check.
Are you going to eat all that? After we are done here, I have to stop at the store and buy a new pair of jeans I am just swimming in these. Do you think there is such a thing as a size negative 2?"

The only thing worse than eating with a skinny girl is shopping with a skinny girl, but at least they don't shop at Wal-Mart.

Paco's Perspective

I'd rather be poked in the eye with a sharp stick than share my toys with Flip.

The Flip Side

I don't want to be poked in the eye with a sharp stick. What are you guys thinking? That would hurt!


  1. I love, love, love the Wal-Mart story. You know that I'm with ya, sistah! Pull my fingernails out with pliers, but don't make me go to Wal-Mart!!!

  2. I hate eating with skinny girls too! I especially hate eating yummy chocolate cake with them when their slices are larger than mine. Where is the fairness in this, I ask??

  3. Skinny girls should be poked in the eyes! Kidding, skinny girls - don't go all skinny-girl crazy on me. Hey, Cathy, it's Tammy! Jo just walked me through how to be a follower. Sorry I had to choose "anonymous," but I can't figure out the other stuff - duh. I'm "GoDbacks" on your list of followers... Anyway, love your posts. Keep writing!