I have friends that have said, "Life would be so much easier, if their young children could just speak or understand what is being said to them." I have the same feeling about Da Boyz, if they could just understand what I was saying and if I could understand what they were thinking, life would be a breeze! I imagine what it would be like having conversations with them. (Yea, yea, yea, I know . . . get a life!) Each dog would have his own persona, I imagine Paco talking very quickly, stuttering, and being very straightforward. Flip, on the other hand, would be somewhat smug and Fonzielike or like Joey on Friends.
Me: Paco, we need to talk.
Paco: What, what, what about?
Me: First, the barking.
Paco: I am just, just, just making sure you know people are coming.
Me: Okay, if you just barked once, I would know and look out and see who it is. You don't need to bark continually, incessantly, and the worst part, Bud, is it get more high pitched as you continue barking.
Paco: Are you, are you, are you saying I bark like a girl?
Me: Well, that and too much.
Paco: I am just, just, just looking out for you. As your owner it is my respon, respon, responsibility to watch out for you! Can't a chickachickawowwow get a break?
Me: Okay, let's just change the subject. What about the twirling?
Paco: I don't twirl. I don't twirl. I don't twirl.
Me: Sorry, Bud, but you do. You have to twirl three times before you go out the door. You twirl when we go for walks. You twirl when anyone enters the house. You twirl all the time.
Paco: I don't know what you are talking about. I don't know what you are talking about. I don't know what you are talking about. You don't see me pointing out your quirks, do you?
Me: Okay, that was a lost cause! Next! Flip?
Flip: (nodding his head) Hey, what you doing?
Me: I do not like you licking my mouth. It is difficult for me to push you away because I can't lift my hands that high.
Flip: (looking out the window)
Me: FLIP!
Flip: Huh? You talking to me, Sweetcheeks?
Me: Yes, I am.
Flip: Little Brother Lizard is under the kissing rock. What did you say?
Me: I do not like you licking my mouth. It is difficult for me to push you away because I can't lift my hands that high.
Flip: Heeeeeey, Lick? All the ladies love my kisses.
Me: Flip, I am not one of the ladies that love it, would you please stop?
Flip: I think Little Brother Lizard is in the flowers, now.
Me: Flip, one other thing. When I take you out to go to the bathroom would you just poop and get it over with? I am tired of searching for a special pooping spot!
Flip: I think I see Big Daddy!
Me: Are you listening?
Flip: Yeeeeeeup, cool dudes don't discuss pooping.
Me: Okay, what about your obsession with chasing lizards? Will you talk about that?
Flip: YEA! I love lizards. Did you see the one I was after this morning? Where do they go? How do they get themselves under the planters? Do lizards have pets, too? Do you think Big Daddy and Little Brother Lizard plan their escapes? How many lizards are outside? Could we keep some inside? Can I have one? Can I? Can I? Huh? Whoa! I am tired! I think it is time for a nap. Thanks for the convo!
Paco's Perspective and The Flip Side
Paco: (talking to Flip) Can you believe her? Questioning my loyalty! I don't twirl. I don't twirl. I don't twirl.
Flip: Yea, ya do, BIG BOY! We all have our issues. I bet she wouldn't like it, if we told everyone about her special issues.
Paco: Yea, yea, yea what about when she
Flip: Zip it! Here she come.
Me: Boyz, do you want to go for a walk?
Paco: Let's go, let's go, let's go!
Flip: I am going on a LIZARD HUNT! Coooooooooooooool!
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