“STICK”tuativeness

Because I am handicapped I have to use objects to assist me to do things that others could easily do without thinking: turning on a light, picking something up off the floor, or even petting the dog. I have a stick that I use to perform various tasks. It is one of those cheap, bamboo back scratchers that one can get at a flea market for a dollar. I use this stick for many things: turning the lights on and off, picking things off the floor, scratching my head, scratching the dog’s head, reaching the buttons on a hospital bed, turning my cough assist machine on and off, sliding things closer to the edge of a table so I can reach them, shooing away flies and mosquitoes, reaching for the bedcovers, unlocking the deadbolt etc., etc. My $1 stick has been a lifesaver. It has helped me be more independent and whenever I come across something I believe I can’t reach or do I get my stick. Today, my stick came in handy again. I needed it to play chili bowl hockey with my canine companion, Flip.

Flip is a stray that has been with me for some time. He was found dodging traffic on Buckeye road. He was hungry and his fur was matted, and when he saw me he jumped into my lap and hasn’t left since. Flip is very possessive. He doesn’t want anyone near his bed, food or me. He’s not aggressive toward people but is very aggressive toward other dogs, if they get near his stuff. Lately, he has become quite aggressive when it comes to food even when food is not around he will jump on poor Paco, if he gets near the spot that his food is placed. In an effort to not make him aggressive about that particular spot he has been fed in various spots throughout my room, and now he just attacks Paco anywhere in my room.

Today, Janet left for the day to run some errands. She left me with the usual Mormon’s Pantry of food. Janet always leaves me enough food to feed a football team. Sometimes she leaves me so many snacks that I think she might be planning to never come back. So, as I was eating my bowl of chili and working my way to the bottom of the gallon of chili the bowl jumped out of my hands. Luckily, it landed right-side-up on the floor. Paco made a move for it but Flip beat him to it and gobbled up the rest of the chili in a flash and licked the bowl clean. Paco tried to sniff the bowl and Flip growled and snapped at him and proceeded to guard the chili bowl. He looked like Snoopy in his “vulture pose”. 

It was going to be a long day for Paco and me as we waited for Janet to come home and pick up the bowl. I couldn’t pick it up, but I decided I could try to move it and shove in under some furniture. I first tried to nudge it with my front wheels but I kept missing the damn thing. Next, I tried to use a towel to swoosh it across the floor but my swooshing talents are not good. And then I thought of my stick.

That’s when the hockey match between the Crushing Crips and the Ferocious Flippers began. After the initial face off, I was on an offensive rush when Flip forechecked me. That dog! I recovered the chili bowl puck and moved my way toward the goal (my computer desk, the piece of furniture that is lowest to the ground). I crossed the blue line and I deked Flip. The final seconds of the third period were ticking down 10 . . .9 . . 8 . . . Paco assisted by screening the shot and I made it to the crease. 7 . . . 6 . . . 5 I took a slap shot and aimed for the top shelf, where mama hides the cookies. 4 . . .3 . . . 2 . . . Flip tried to body check me but too late I SCORED! 1 . . . 0 The chili bowl was safely tucked under my desk where no dog could reach it! I did a victory lap while Paco ran circles around me. Final score: Crushing Crips 1, Ferocious Flippers ZERO!

Paco’s Perspective

The moral of the story: Never give up, STICK with it! Get it? Stick with it.

The Flip Side

I was robbed. I am going to STICK it to that twirling Paco! Get it, Paco? STICK IT!