Saturday, April 10, 2010

I'm Getting Off at the Next Revolution

It is that time of year when the stress level is so high you can feel it hanging in the airlike wet sheets on a clothesline. Next week is AIMS(Arizona's Instrument to Measure Standards) testing week. For schools and teachers everything is riding on this test. One can feel the pressure sitting heavily on one's shoulders. On top of all this stress and pressure I was extremely ill this week. All I could think of was that song, "Stop the World and Let Me Get Off".

Thinking of that song reminded me of another shtupid moment with my wheelchair. I would think that I would learn from my stupid mistakes. When I got stuck playing hide-and-go-seek with the dog I should have stopped playing hide-and-go-seek with the dog, but I didn't. When my wheelchair was almost totally destroyed climbing a mountain I should have stopped going on trails not suitable for wheelchairs, but I didn't. When I got a giant clip stuck in my mouth I should have stopped trying to open things with my mouth, but I didn't. Apparently, I am a slow learn, or what happens to me is so shtupid that I think it couldn't possibly happen again.

Quite a few years a go when I was much younger I was able to bend over while in my chair and pick things up from the floor. Today I wouldn't even begin to think of leaning in any direction that would get me off center in fear that I would fall. I was at my mom's house watching TV, and I saw the Sunday Funnies on the floor and decided I need to read them. I positioned my wheelchair next to the paper and proceeded to lean over the edge of my chair on the driver button side and reach for the paper. Of course, Shtupid hits the button with her ample bust, and my chair starts to move. I begin to turn in the living room. No problem, I will stop when I run into the footstool. I hit the footstool, pushed it aside, and continued to turn. No problem, I will stop when I hit the coffee table it is heavier than the footstool. I hit the heavy coffee table, pushed it aside, and continued to spin. No problem, I will will definitely stop when I hit the recliner. I hit the recliner, pushed it aside, and continued to spin. BIG PROBLEM! I had pushed all the furniture aside, and I was spinning in the middle of the living room getting more nauseous with each revolution. One might ask, where was my mother? I was wondering the same thing, where is my mother? Perhaps, in Canada!

As I continued to be a merry-go-round, I passed the recliner many times. Maybe on the next revolution I will dive into the recliner. Really, Shtupid you are crippled. You couldn't even pick up a newspaper off the floor without without getting into a predicament, and you actually believe you can hit the recliner? Yes, I do. I passed the recliner three more times sizing up the situation and building up my nerve. This is it I'm getting off this merry-go-round at the next revolution. I passed the footstool. I passed the coffee table and couch. I passed the TV. The recliner was coming into view and I was preparing to make my move.

Then I heard my mother say, "WHAT are you doing?"

"I . . . . . . . am . . . . . . . . . spinning?"

I didn't have to jump. I survived. I have survived many AIMS Testing weeks, and I will survive this one, too. I have survived many illnesses much worse than this, and I will survive this one, too. I am NOT getting off at the next revolution.

Paco's Perspective

What's wrong with spinning?

The Flip Side

Doesn't Paco realize we would get places a lot faster, if he didn't spin?



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